Liz Pemberton April 10th 2016 ~ Good Enough

Last weekend I continued pursuing my connection with community theatre by auditioning for another upcoming show.  The play has a role in it that seemed a good fit, a woman in her mid-40’s (tick) who has an English accent (can practise this) and sings a bit (can do).  Quite a good part, a minor lead.  So for about a month I spent bits of time getting myself ready for the audition.  I trawled the internet for a suitable monologue and began to learn it.  I decided on a song and practised.  I watched the movie the play was based on, paying particular attention to the character I was auditioning for.  I purchased the play on Amazon, downloaded it to my Kindle app and read it a couple of times.  I imagined myself playing the role and doing it well.  The audition went pretty well, the director seemed pleased and I went away hopeful.The email came the next day and I read it with anticipation.  They’d love me to be in the show. (Great!) They’d like to offer me the role of….  a character in only one scene with about8-10 lines.  Plus ensemble work and a bit of company singing.  And I promptly burst into tears, heart-sore at missing out on the role I had really wanted.This, of course, is not an uncommon experience.  All of us who have ever applied for a job or put ourselves out there in any kind of way have probably experienced something similar.  We may come away from this kind of experience feeling that we’re not good enough.  (Which may be far from the truth, but we feel that way for a time).When it comes to the Christian life, I often feel that I am not good enough.  In some work situations I feel like I really should know what I’m doing and then actually be doing it.  In some relationships I feel like I should have it all worked out and be an exemplary role model.  In my devotional life I think I should have all the spiritual disciplines humming along nicely but at different times the reality can be far from the truth.  I have been on my knees, at times, asking God to fix up my life in all the areas it needs fixing – but so far no magic life-fixing pill has appeared.It seems Paul was on his knees in the same way. In 2 Corinthians 12 he tells of how he pleaded with God to take away a “thorn in the flesh” but God’s response was “No.”  God then said “But I am with you and that is all you need.  My power shows up best in weak people”  (2 Cor 12:9).So I’m thinking that maybe I shouldn’t hope the person chosen for the role I wanted breaks a leg so I get to replace her.  Instead perhaps a gracious response to my disappointment after the audition will show God’s graciousness to others.  And maybe a grateful response to the offer of a part will show God’s generosity.  And maybe a heart to befriend other cast and crew members will show God’s heart of welcome and love.  Come Holy Spirit, I need you – to comfort me in my disappointments but also to transform me into someone who reflects God’s heart and God’s character.May we all, in our weaknesses, be a living demonstration of God’s power, knowing that He is enough and that is actually all we ever need.Your companion on the journey,Liz