James Duff March 20th 2016 ~ Kairos moment

Sometimes I have a really definite subject that I like to muse about, other times it just begins to spill out after I have prayed and begin typing. As I write now it is a definite case of the latter.This has been a strange week for me. I wonder what yours has been like? Parts of my week have been mundane and predictable, while others haven’t been what I was expecting at all. These ‘aha!’ moments or, more precisely, ‘kairos’ moments, have caused me to lean into God and learn more about him and, in turn, myself, bringing me some pain and grief but much life also.One such moment involved a person outside of St Philips calling me and asking for my forgiveness. They had been harbouring an attitude of bitterness towards me and felt God had asked them to repent of this and for God to clean out their heart. I was totally oblivious of this situation but was very thankful that they called me and we reasoned the issue together. After the discussion I had a strange reaction. After praying together and forgiving them, I began to feel resentment towards them as I was dismayed that someone could presume an untrue and unfair thing about me. My default position was to want that person to feel pain, because their confession had caused unfair pain to me. I then slowly began the process of asking God for forgiveness, for him to give me a heart like his and for there to be no roots of bitterness in me.While this ‘kairos’ moment was happening, another kicked off. Again a person outside of St Philips was not prepared to meet with me in person after they had become upset in a meeting I attended and led. I had rung the person a few times without a response and so then texted them. They responded by texting me explaining they were too busy to meet. I had two responses to this new ‘kairos’ moment. Firstly, I wanted to witness to this person the justice and mercy of Jesus in person, a response that comes from being an evangelist and wanting everybody to come to know Jesus. Secondly, I wanted to tell the person how much their actions and response to me was childish and full of passive-aggressive behaviour.  I wanted them to know that they needed to grow up and act like an adult and stop being such a pathetic ‘sooky-la-laa’. Have mercy on me Lord!Liz reminded us last week of the wonderful story of the woman in Matthew 26 who anointed Jesus with oil. To highlight the love that this unknown lady had for Jesus, Liz told a story of a woman who had gone to an enemy’s house with a bowl and towel, offering to wash the so-called enemy’s feet. This woman, even though they initially wanted their hate for their enemy to be justified, experienced the breaking in of God’s kingdom through the Holy Spirit. It no longer mattered to her if this ‘enemy’ ever knew what pain she had caused or whether the hatred she felt towards her was justified or not. God had broken in on that woman and transformed her attitude to be like Christ Jesus, who humbled himself for His enemies and died for them on the cross, and so bringing life to all who trust in him.I cannot trust my heart. It is deceitful above all else. It promises self-sufficiency, revenge and glory. I need Jesus to continually do a heart transplant on me. I need Jesus to break into my life and continue to change my heart from stone into flesh. My hope and prayer for you as you work through your own ‘kairos’ moments is for you to ask Jesus to change you from the inside out. For, as we enter the last week of Lent and focus our gaze on the cross, where our sins were obliterated, we know the empty tomb dawns and His glorious resurrection awaits.Blessings,James