What’s your greatest fear and struggle?

I have been musing a lot today. I have been musing about why I find it so difficult to write a musing! I know I can talk the ears off a brass monkey with out too much hassle at all, so why is it so difficult to write a musing or write a sermon? (For those who don’t know me well, writing sermons is about the worst thing in my life; preaching them comes a close second.) So what is it about musing and sermoning that is so difficult for me?It’s probably pride but I want to look good, and to come across as spiritually deep and thoughtfully profound. More than that, however, I think its about bringing something thats of use and of value for others. I want others to receive something from me that serves and benefits them… and perhaps its my lack of self esteem (do I really have anything to offer? What would I know, I’m young and immature?), or perhaps its not really knowing the struggles that others are going through; but I just don’t know what to say that is going to have any meaning or significance… so I’d rather not say anything, and I freak about saying something that is useless from the pulpit! Yet if I think about it for a second, isn’t it ironic that my greatest fear and struggle - preaching - is the thing that God has called me to do for Him?What’s your greatest fear and struggle?God spoke to Paul who was complaining about his weakness and said; “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Cor 12:9) It sounds nice, but I don’t actually enjoy being weak, and I’m going to go a long way to avoid weakness and be strong, and independent and powerful in and of myself. Not God’s way of doing it though… Jesus though being God took upon Himself the very nature of being human, more than that, being the least of all humans; a slave! God in weakness establishes His rule and His Kingdom. Preaching, or musing for me brings me to confront my weakness and it brings me to the place where I have no option but to be weak and hope that God’s power will be made perfect through that. That’s scary even to write!I’m not sure how God’s power is going to come out of this musing and I wonder if I am being arrogant to assume it might! However, as we are coming up to the Church Camp, I wonder if this musing might be enough to encourage you to prayerfully come, and to engage in your own places of weakness. If it is speaking and sharing dreams and visions of what might be, I can only guess that as it is for me and preaching, that God’s grace is sufficient for you, and that His power is made perfect in your weakness. Share away, bless us all. If your own place of weakness is in listening and in being attentive to what is going on in and for others, I pray that you would also latch on to God’s grace and have the courage to listen and to explore what is happening in and for the other.Nicholas