What Matters to You?

Malcolm PottsNick Lockwood
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Nov 142010
 

“What Matters to You?”

(Mal) Well, Nick here we are somewhere over the Great Australian Bight; are you wondering about anything in particular?

(Nick) I’m wondering what really matters… We seem to think it really matters that a Rolls Royce plane engine blows up; like that REALLY matters but when I think about studying theology or leading a Church, it sort of feels like those things don’t really matter much in the scheme of things.

(Mal) So what really matters is life and death?

(Nick) Hey??!

(Mal) Plane engines blowing up, the consequences are potential death. So as a Christian, we are just those who keep the body alive? But the God who created us says those things are of little importance compared with knowing Him…?

(Nick) Yeah, how long I live, how comfortably I live, how significant I am in doing what I do; it matters to me and the world much more than what God says matters.

(Mal) So, what in your opinion really matters to you at 30 starting out as Christian leader in a pretty wobbly world?

(Nick) When it comes down to me… I guess God is number one: what’s He want of me? What are my primary responsibilities to him? Though I often lose myself to dreams of owning a mini cooper and watching movies on my iPhone, I know I can only work out what God wants in relationship to others. This is from left field I know, but you know what Mal, I think my greatest fear is that I might die alone. It’s just one of those funny things about me that when I feel most afraid, most exposed, most helpless, that’s when I withdraw the most ; from God and other people.

(Mal) So, you look pretty on top of things, is that a sham?

(Nick) No, people who think that just really don’t know me; who knows others fears and struggles really? Look when it comes to life, I’d really like to love others and care enough to really, really know who they are – fears, struggles, joys and all – and not let my helplessness (which I hate) and fears get in the way.

(Mal) So while you look competent that’s not what it’s about for you?

(Nick) No, it’s not about being competent at all, I probably hide behind that if that’s what you see. It’s about letting God form me, like Jesus submitted to his Father and that’s unnerving.

(Mal) So how would you like to  be remembered?

(Nick) I reckon I’d lived my life ok if I had a real confidence in God’s love for me and if those who I want to know me the best – Katherine and the girls – can say they do know the real me.

(Mal) What about in your ministry?

(Nick) Well those things are my ministry but I’d want God to have used me so that others had been drawn near to an authentic relationship with Jesus through something they’d seen in me; something that He had put there.

(Mal) Hey, there’s Melbourne down there. That was a good way to make time fly.

Up in the Air…

Malcolm and Nicholas

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New Adventures to come…

Nick Lockwood
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Nov 072010
 

Our time at St Philips is nearing an end. Just a couple of days ago we found out that the house we are moving into for the next 3 years became available as of the 16th of December. A rushed pre-Christmas move is now being strategized in the Lockwood household! There’s a real sense of excitement too; there’s a sense of relief that we’ll be somewhere for a minimum of 3 years. Thus far we have moved 5 times in 6 years! There’s a sense of excitement around getting a regular monthly pay packet – for the first time in 6 years. There’s a sense of excitement about living 400 metres from the school, and 200 metres from Katherine’s sister and hubby who have two similar aged kids with another on the way. There’s also some sense of excitement for me in the journey God has me (and us as a family) on; we are taking over Willetton’s Church plant into Canning Vale as you may know. However what you mightn’t know is that Willetton was the Church of my youth and the Church I came back to as a young man and newly converted Christian seven years ago. In [continue reading...]

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What discipleship means to me

Nick Lockwood
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Oct 172010
 

I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. (Eph 3.18-19) It’s a funny thing; I have to prepare a short, focused, seven minute homily on Ephesians 3 to preach to my colleagues in the Anglican Priestly Formation Programme. And every time I think about it, or purpose to engage with it I start feeling really anxious! Which isn’t unusual – it’s the same feeling I get when I sit down to write a Musing! Or a sermon… The anxiety for me (I think) is founded in a deep internal drive to succeed, to nail it, to be relevant to connect and be the cause of someone’s life being transformed. And the fear of not being able to achieve these things, the fear of failure to achieve these things spark feelings of anxiety within me. How far is that from being driven by a deep, deep knowing of the length, height, depth and breadth of the love of God! How far is that [continue reading...]

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DIY Musing week – follow the prompts…

Nick Lockwood
 musings  No Responses »
Aug 292010
 

This weeks Musing has been left blank for you to create your musing.. Start now following the bullet points and using the pencil in your Pew Sheet… Start with an event or thing that’s happened, that has got you thinking…… My first thoughts on this are ? (Fantastic or Ridiculous or Frustrating…) How am I feeling ? (be real here—happy, sad, lonely, angry …) What does this feeling remind me of….is it bringing up something from the past (eg first day at school….) Does it feel like God is in this with me?…. If yes—how? If no—is there anything in the Bible that has a similar theme; eg Prodigal son—lost, found, re-connected. So this event has shown me that…. eg there is something I need to attend to right now or God is leading me to trust Him in this. Nicholas Feeling creative – add your musings here in the comments box below (or even email them to the office to be considered for publication in future weeks)….

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What’s it like being a Reverend – Part 2

Nick Lockwood
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Aug 222010
 

In last week’s musing I begun reflecting on the question people have been asking me, whether I feel any different now that I’ve been made a Reverend. I noted that yes it is different, though not in the way people might expect. I begun sharing what the Anglican Church meant for me as a kid – irrelevance, unpopularity, embarrassment and unsuccessful - it fed a wound of rejection, and thus had seriously negative connotations as I grew up. For me then, the journey towards being made a leader and an ordained representative of our Church has been really painful. Have you ever been to a psychologist, or even just had one of those hard, raw deeply personal conversations with your spouse or a close friend, whereby you have to face up to who you are; and it’s not that pretty? This is what much of my journey has been like. A relentless, continuing, growing realisation that deep down, in my heart, it’s just not that pretty. I shared some of that in my testimony a couple of weeks ago. You know how when stuff goes wrong people blame God, even if they claimed just last week not to even believe in Him? It’s called scapegoat-ing! It [continue reading...]

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